My Pain My Pain

It's evil

I hate it

I feel it



I know it's there

There's no denying it now

I can feel it trying to burst free



It wants to control me

It's so close

So close to owning me



I don't know what time it is anymore

All I know is I've been calling long as I can remember

And no one answers



No one picks up on the other end

No one can help

No one can make her leave



It's the very worst part of me

And yes it's been in me for so long it is a part of me

It's like a leg or an arm now



They say just forget it

They say it will go away

They don't understand

They don’t know my hate

They don’t know my pain

They don't know why I can't kill it



It's not something you just kill

You can't just forget about it

You can't just send it away



It's deeper

It's not a feeling

It's alive



It's another person

It’s not what I remember being

This isn't me I always say



But it is

It's so much a part of me now

she owns my arms and legs